Friendships & Emotions

We all remember the first friend we made at school. Sometimes if we’re lucky these friendships last for life! Research shows that establishing friendships is an important developmental milestone for children under the age of 7. Friendships developed in the early years help children learn and practice social and cognitive skills as well as aid their communicative and emotional development. It is through these friendships they learn the rules of social interaction and how to communicate with others. 

 

Having friends also create a sense of belonging and security in children meaning they are comforted and reduces stress. When children have strong friendships they have higher self-esteem. It’s human nature to want to be liked by others and belong right! 

 

On the flip side however, sometimes friendships can be tricky, especially for younger ones. How do we as parents help our children navigate the intense emotions that come with them? 

 

We’ve all heard the ‘she said, he said’ tales and ‘so and so is leaving me out or being mean,’ which can be completely heartbreaking to hear as parents. It’s in our instinct to protect our children from this hurt and rejection at all costs. These issues however need to be approached carefully and can actually be very good opportunities for our child to grow and learn. So how can we do this? 

When your child is being excluded this can be a very tough thing to deal with. Instead of doing what is natural and rushing in to protect them however the first port of call needs to be to listen to your child and then help them process their emotions. Hold space for them. Knowing that they have you in their corner will give your child confidence in life knowing they can navigate it’s tricky challenges. 

 

Remember that although we may want to it is not helpful to say mean things about the other child in question. Instil confidence in your own child and explain that when others are mean in this way it is normally a reflection of how they may feel themselves. This is no reflection at all on your child or anything to do with them as a person. 

 

 

Teach your child how to face difficult situations with confidence as arguments will inevitably will come up from time to time. Help them understand that nothing will be solved by name calling or being mean back and that becoming physical is never a solution. Teach them to use their words and walk away. Help them learn to regulate and calm down with deep breaths rather than biting back. 

 

 

Helping your child make amends when they have done wrong is also a necessary skill for them to learn. What should you do when you need to say sorry to someone and fix things? Also help them understand what they might have done to contribute to a situation and what they can do differently next time. 

 

We hope you found those tips useful and can put them into practice to help your little one tackle friendships and the emotions that go with them. Here’s to raising happy and confident children!